Overcoming Diagnosis Guilt

The Emotional Journey

When your dog is diagnosed with IVDD, your dog is still here, but everything feels different.

An IVDD diagnosis brings a wave of emotions all at once. Just know, it is not your fault.

So many thoughts go through and it is easy to feel overwhelmed quickly.

Right away, most of us are confused, don't know what to do next, how we will pay for everything. The emotional journey is something we all go through. Not all of the same thoughts, but we all have one thought in common: we want our dog okay, not in pain.

Hearing our dogs cry in pain, not being able to walk, or refusing a snack because they aren't feeling well is heartbreaking to witness and it happens quickly.

Finances are another huge stress point. Everything begins to add up and seeing the estimate for imaging and surgery can be intimidating.

The outside pressure and judgement when it comes to the cost is another factor. Especially when you are already overwhelmed and feeling alone. You will feel isolated when receiving that judgement.

Not everyone will understand or agree with your decisions, but you know what is best for your dog.

Everything you feel is valid.

Allow yourself to cry, to feel frustrated, to ask for help.

Just know, you aren't alone. There is an entire IVDD community who knows exactly what you are going through.

Whether this is your first time navigating an IVDD diagnosis, or your dog is currently going through a flare up, I'd love to tell you that the emotional rollercoaster ends when you find a support group or something. Realistically, it doesn't. You will have highs, lows, and stagnant periods.

The fear of another flare up doesn't go away either. But, try to be there for you dog. Live in the moment with them.

The Grief and Guilt

After hearing the diagnosis, seeing how our dogs have been impacted, a feeling of guilt may scream at you.

The feeling of guilt can show up at any point during this journey. Not just the beginning. It is as simple as accidentally seeing them lose balance and they end up falling. Then, the guilt begins creeping in. "I should have been able to prevent that."

"I feel like I failed you."

"I wish I could do more."

"What if I had just called off work that day."

"What if...."

Our mind screams at us, all of the "what ifs" and feelings we are navigating.

Grief doesn't just show up when an IVDD warrior crosses over the Rainbow Bridge. It can still show up while they are right next to us, while navigating the changes, and uncertainty.

You may feel anger at the disease, at yourself, at how unfair life is that our dogs have a shorter lifespan.

Grief could show up physically as well. You may lose your appetite, fatigue, restless, or chest pain.

Everything you feel is valid. We are human.

Checking In

That was a lot to read. Maybe a lot of emotions flooded in, maybe they didnt.

Regardless... we are pausing for a second...

You Are Doing More Than You Think

Every appointment.

Every late night worry.

Every dollar spent.

Every accommodation made for them.

You are showing up.

And that matters.

Small Wins Matter

There will be good days and off days, but try to remember to celebrate the small wins!

Some examples of small wins are:

They ate their meal.

They seem a little more comfortable.

They took a step.

They wagged their tail.

These moments are progress.

You are both doing great.

Let Go of What You Can't Control

You can't control:

The past

How fast healing happens

Outcomes

You CAN control:

Your love

Your dog's environment

Your support system

When It Feels Too Heavy

If you ever feel overwhelmed, please reach out to someone.

Talk to a friend.

Join an IVDD support group.

Consider talking with a mental health professional.

If you or a loved one are experiencing a mental health emergency, please contact your local emergency number or text/call a local crisis lifeline.

You Are Not Alone

There is a community of people who understand what you are going through. The IVDD community.

Online support groups.

Friends and family.

IVDD warriors who have been where you are.

Veterinary teams who care.

Up Next: Caregiver Burnout

Help protect their mobility. Know the signs .